Gilbert is your average modern day vampire. Well, maybe not so average, but heís a vampire alright! Well big whoop, heís a big bad vampire oh no! Heís gonna have to keep that to himself, if any mortal human were to find out that he is a damned creature of the night...bad things will happen...to him.
You can call Gilbert Gil for short. If you wouldnít think heís a vampire, youíd probably think heís just an average teenager looking around the age of 16 with pale skin, piss-colored eyes and tousled hair. Fangs, itís a given. By now would you think that he dresses up with a cape and all that? In public, not a chance heíd seem ever more creepy. The assumption is that Gil would probably dress up as Dracula or something. On Halloween, sure why not but even then itís 2007 for crying out loud! No modern day BEING would go around dressing up in such a very archaic fashion. Gilís got no fashion sense but he knows what to wear. Dressy casual is how he likes it. A nice thin collar shirt of a pale blue scented with cologne thatíll clog your lungs far worst than puffing some smokes. Have I mentioned that Gil lives in the sewers? Thatís why he puts on so much deodorant, but weíll get to the whole sewer thing later, you see youíre already making me change the subject. Heís also got a nice pair of black pants and a snazzy pair of shined shoes. The most noticeable piece of wear that Gil sports is a Ďredí tie that opposes the cool colors of the rest of his attire. It was a black tie actually, but Gil dyed it red. Oh my! With what red dye? Or blood?! No, Gil drenched that sucker in fruit punch, and it smells...like fruit punch. And that smell of punch lingers around Gil along with the heavy horrible cologne and the natural stinky stink that plagues him for living in the sewers. An almost inhuman and foul smelling mixture of moist along with sweat, heís not the nicest smelling creature.
So if Gilís this blood sucking creature of the dark, does that mean he has nothing else on his mind than just preying on mortal humans for their sweet juices? Well youíd be half right! You see, itís true that every vampireís true desire is to quench their thirst for oh so sweet blood. Thatís what they live for alright, and theyíre gonna have to keep quenching that thirst for the rest of their damned lives. Sure Gilís gonna eventually give into his inner-vampire and do nothing but hunt and feed on humans for entire nights, but hey that doesnít mean heís got nothing else to do! Okay he used to be human, but heís trying his best to stick close to the shreds of humanity he has left. Heís not the guy he used to be anymore. He acts more beastly even when his inner-vampire hasnít taken over, but deep down heís a kind fella. Gil wonít be the nicest vampire youíll ever meet, but Iím not saying he isnít nice, heís quite a soft hearted guy deep down. If heís not biting your neck heíll probably be out wasting his night as he sees fit. Whether that be killing time and coins at the local arcade, or ordering and vegging out on twenty-three boxes of pizza, sure why not! Gil still enjoys mortal pleasures to its fullest. He could trying getting a date too but; sewers, foul smell, animal like behavior...glad you havenít forgotten about that! Gil shares some of his nights with his best pal Dimitri who heís recently befriended. Dimitri is a dim-bulb of a twenty year old who works at the local blood bank. A blond haired mess of a man whoís too lazy. He and Gil spend nights doing absolutely nothing. Itís like how Gil spends his nights doing nothing, the only difference is plus Dimitri. Gil, on his more humane nights plays video games over at Dimitri's house, spending hours on end during the night frying their brains in front the television with controllers in hand. Doesnít Gil have a job? The answer is no. Who would hire him? Sewers, foul smell, animal like behavior...I didnít need to mention that again.
Now do I need to mention again that Gil lives in the sewers? Thatís right the sewers, full of rats, waste and dirty water. Itís the perfect sanctuary for someone like Gil though. No sunlight, an abundant supply of rats (yes Gil feeds on rats too, he can stomach that kind) and not too many mortal humans would come down there to live with him! Gil has everything he needs down there. One can find a well built if not very unclean room that Gil had created himself. It comes complete with a television, couch, lighting, rugs, matts, table and an icebox to keep frozen packs of blood that Dim will sometimes sneak for Gil at the blood bank. A television, fridge and lighting? Even I donít know how he did it, but heís got it alright. Gil knew he couldnít survive in normal society living the way he does as a vampire and just being a weirdo just because, and the sewers have been calling to him to live withiní itís dirty, slimy and isolated tunnels since Gil arrived to America. Theyíve housed him there for many decades. Wait, decades?! But heís only a teenager! Well immortal life, his past, you get the picture? And there you go again making me change the subject and what not! This summary was written to let you know about Gil and his life as it is now, not his past. Thatís for some other time...thatís not now.
Well you made it through my entire summary of Gil! See it wasnít that long itís just really spaced out. Congratulations for finishing, take a breather, pat yourself on the back,
get yourself some ice cream...if you just skipped all the way down here and pretended to read it, vomit that ice cream and slap yourself. Nah just kidding! Although this does not include every single detail about the smelly little Gilbert, especially not his past, at least ya learned somethings about him. Youíre now .000001% smarter than before you read this! Use the knowledge well! Okay Iíll end it now